Feel free to skip to the skinnier version ===================> Trust Your Gut.
We drove back in time to see my oncologist yesterday. Dr. Coscio said she was encouraged. (That’s always good to hear.) It seems the breast is not as red as it was the first time she examined me, and she didn’t detect any spreading. It is not worse. I reminded her a lot of people are praying for me. We stopped looking at statistics, and turned our trust to God. He is not a God of statistics, and defies all odds.
More good news – we can do all future tests, surgery and treatments in The Woodlands! This will save us at least 2 hours of fighting the downtown Houston traffic on those specific days. Breast surgeons work both locations, and they have radiation as well. Yes!!
She also provided more information on why she had thought I might have inflammatory breast cancer, and her initial cause for concern. I had all the symptoms.
If you have been following my blog, you know the story of my May ultrasound – nothing noted – benign cysts – follow up in six months. I was due a physical, so I went back a little early. My primary care doctor examined me on Halloween, and reported no masses during the exam. Reading this report raised concern for the oncologist. Nothing noted on October 31st, and a golf ball sized tumor plus lymph node invasion in early December. This seemed like a fast growing cancer; along with the redness and edema it was indicative of inflammatory breast cancer. However, HER2+ is also an aggressive cancer, and the symptoms could be secondary to the cancer. Referring me to Dr. Valero was the right thing to do. The multi-disciplinary approach was also the right thing to do.
Diagnosing is half the battle. Chemo remains the same, but radiation is more intense after surgery for inflammatory breast cancer (and they have to wait at least a year to do reconstruction. I’ll blog about radiation when it gets closer to the time, but suffice it to say there’s more to it than we expected.)
Looking back on the events of last week make more sense now. I understand why the same questions kept coming from each white coat entering the room. “When did you notice a growth?” Sometime before May. “When did you notice the swelling?” Well, it seemed gradual over the past year. I couldn’t pinpoint a specific day, or week. Perhaps I’m not observant enough, but I’ve been feeling this “thing” for a while. “Pain?” On and off. Swelling and fatigue. I knew in my gut that something was wrong, but I have a high tolerance for pain. My gut told me to go get it checked, so in May I did. My responses, and the apparent nature of growth over the past several months, lead the team to their conclusion. HER2+ is an aggressive breast cancer, and produces the same symptoms as inflammatory breast cancer, but takes more time to grow. With inflammatory breast cancer, one will notice a large mass within a week or two. They may go to the hospital and get pumped with IV fluids for what appears to be a serious infection. This did not happen to me. Aside, we will be seeking a new primary care physician when this is over.
So now there is the issue of images. I’ve had mammograms, ultrasounds, and biopsies from Conroe Regional. I always thought they did a good job, but the eyes of the MD Anderson doctor and nurse were revealing when they insisted they want their own. Their pictures will serve two purposes: 1) determine a baseline, so they can monitor the progress of the chemo, and 2) The MRI will note whether the skin has been invaded (symptoms point to this). So that means going for more pictures and delaying chemo for another week. I’ve been preparing myself to starting chemo on Monday, but I trust the process. Besides, I don’t mind having my hair for an extra week (we are maintaining our sense of humor).
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If there is any moral to this story to be learned, it is “trust your gut.” It is probably the Holy Spirit nudging you to take action. We should listen to the still small voice and move on those inclinations. I don’t regret my decisions over the past year, but if I had it to do over I would go to a specialist when I initially thought something was wrong. Primary care doctors do not feel cancer on a daily basis. They do not have a team working with them from all specialities. They do not know all the ins and outs of breast cancer treatment, and they cannot explain it like an oncologist.
Many women have reached out to me since I’ve started on this journey…women of all ages and backgrounds. Some are cancer survivors, sharing their encouraging success stories with me. Journeys of hope and life. Some are cheering from the bleachers, never having experienced it but filled with spiritual energy to support. Others have recently found a lump. They are scared that a lump might be something more than a benign cyst. This is where I say, “trust your gut.”
I have been there. I was scared the first time I went in to have a lump checked. I was 26. And again fear arose several years later, with biopsies resulting in aspiration of multiple cysts. But I went. Admittedly, I never had the “nudge” like I had this time. Inside, I knew this was different, but all the while I was at peace. I played the “good girl” and did what the primary care doctor ordered, rather than following my instinct and demanding further action. Aside, I remember a nudge a few years ago to continue a cancer policy which a former employer provided (I wish I would have listened to that one).
I am not trying to be an alarmist, and I don’t think we should live our lives in fear or spend each day in a doctor’s office with a complaint. In fact, I believe God willingly gives us an extra dose of peace and joy when we are going through severe trials. But I do believe (and the multi-disciplinary team confirmed it) we know our bodies better than any doctor or even family member. If something is wrong, we are living in our own skin and know better than anyone around us, if we take time to listen. Go to a specialist if you sense the nudge to do so. Ask your doctor for an additional test if you know in your gut something is wrong. God will tell you if you give Him the chance to speak.
Feel free to comment or give me a call if you want to talk. My journey is mine, but I believe the Lord can use me to encourage and support others who may be going through something similar. It is a pleasure to say: Happy New Year!
Next week: chemo postponed. EKG on Thursday. All tests are rescheduled from downtown to The Woodlands (MRI, Mammogram, Ultrasound). Chemo starts on Thursday, Jan. 10th at this writing.
Hi Kathy,
I’m glad to hear you are taking care of yourself and took time to get your mammogram. Way to go! It’s a pain, but worth the peace of mind. Keep doing your self-checks and annual exams. Be sure to go in if anything seems out of ordinary.
I agree kids have a way of taking a front seat, but as you know we can’t take care of them if we don’t take care of ourselves first. Keep me posted on what you find out about Greg. Sometimes they just can’t figure it out with all the different “bugs” out there.
Love you guys! Have a Happy New Year.
Cindy
Hi Cindy, Thank you for posting this. I am now having second thoughts of what we went through with Greg a few days before Christmas. He had many test in the hospital and no one could agree as to what was going on. The antibiotics did the trick but they could not explain the high fevers and the pain on the left side of the abdomen. We never did get the results of the last MRI but I trust if there was something they would have called. I will now be pushing Greg to go to his GI doc and follow up.
I trust that God has his hand on you body and he knows what is going on. He will give you the peace you need and the right doctors in you path. I have seen this in my own life. Still praying for you.
I scheduled my first Mamogram since you were diagnosed I have put it off for 10 years. I did it the day after Christmas and my results came the next day. I am negative. Such an easy thing to do but the stuggles with our son puts my health on the back burner.
We love you,
Kathy