The nurse pulled the sheet off her feet to let them cool down. Mommy looked down and said, “My feet are dirty.” The nurse assured her they weren’t dirty, but she insisted with the little energy she had at the moment. The nurse told her they would wash her feet when they bathed her, and that seemed to satisfy her.
In church growing up we used to have foot-washing services. This is in response to Jesus’ mandate in John 13 to do this act of service. In one of my earliest memories of foot-washing I recall the curiosity I felt as the women would go down the stairs of our church building and sit in a circle. I remember watching mom wash the feet of another woman, and the tears that flowed as she did so. It wasn’t just a ritual to her as it has become to many believers today. It was an opportunity to truly serve.
Toward end of life the body draws all the moisture from extremities to fuel the heart. This causes them to wrinkle and change colors. Her feet are wrinkling. They are drawing up and the skin color is darkening. This is normal and a natural part of the transition, but of course she thought her feet were dirty. I noticed tonight that her arms are also changing color. Again, this is all normal and is not a cause for concern. I am learning things I would have never known before.
She looked tired this morning, so I asked my daily question, “Mommy do you want to see anyone today?” She shook her head no. I was sharing this with the nurse when she was in the room and Mom adamantly shook her head again. (We thought she was asleep, but the hearing is the last thing to go.) She just wanted to be left alone, to rest. So anyone who came was given directions to let her sleep. We kept watching her breaths get further and further apart. Five or six seconds now lapse between each breath.
Mom’s brother came by and Mom gave Philip a kiss. She still says, “I love you” even when she has very little energy to give. I think they are leaving tomorrow to go back home. He doesn’t want to go, and they considered staying over one more night. His back is in need of surgery and they need to take care of him.
My big sister also came by in the morning to spend some more time with Mom on her way back to Ohio. It was good to see her once more. Having her here was an answer to Mom’s prayer, for all of us to be together. I will cherish those moments.
Mom’s prayer partner and some other friends came up; it was good to see them and spend some time listening to the Jamaican accent. We just peeked in so they could see her without waking her up, but she did open her eyes and say hello to her prayer partner. This made her very happy. Our friends brought food including papayas. I’ve never eaten a papaya to my knowledge so I’m anxious to try it.
Uncle Philip and I went by Mom’s house so he could see where she has been living. He was impressed with the mobile home park, and I think it was comforting to know she had been living in a gated community that was so well maintained. It is well manicured and the mobile homes are all quite nice. Mom had one of the bigger ones, with some new appliances like a double oven (only used once) and a new dishwasher. It has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a fairly large kitchen, and two screened porches (one is more like a Florida room). If you know anyone who would like to buy a mobile home as an investment property or who needs one for a senior who lives in the Leesburg area, please email me or message me with your contact details!
Tomorrow I go back to work. I am so glad I have this portable job! I have a full day of meetings and paperwork but if I need to take off, I will do so. The night nurse just came in and made up my bed. She told me how important it was for me to be here, and affirmed that I have made a big difference in her final days of mom’s life. We don’t know how much longer Mom will be with us, but I know she would want me to take care of myself. So that is exactly what I will do. Work keeps my mind occupied and money in our pockets, so until I need to take off I’ll keep pressing on, but when the time comes my family comes first.
Working will be good for her too, actually, as I will be busy and she will have time to rest with limited interruptions. I may work from the lanai where I can still see her throughout the day. The nursing staff are also very watchful.
So we are watching and waiting.
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À la prochaine (Until next time) …