I woke up to the nurses scurrying around the room. It was about 7:30 AM. Mom’s temperature was 104, and her respirations were rapid (about 24 per minute). I knew this wasn’t good news. They gave her some Tylenol and Morphine, then gave me the “this is it” look as the left the room.
No time to shower, so I held her hand and stood by her side, still in my pajamas. The following words just flowed from my lips. I didn’t think twice about what song to sing, it just happened.
“My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou are mine. For Thee all the follies of sin I resign. My gracious Redeemer, My Savior art Thou. If ever I loved Thee, My Jesus ’tis now.”
Immediately her respirations slowed down to about 3-4 breaths per minute. Her face softened. She seemed comforted by the words, and her face was at peace. I couldn’t remember the words to the other verses, so I just kept singing the same one over and over. One breath, 45 second pause, followed by another breath and another long pause. When she breathed her final breath, somehow I knew. I had only gotten through about three verses by this time, and I sang her to Jesus. It was almost exactly 8:00 AM.
About two minutes later I called the nurse, tears streaming from my face. She said the words I knew I would hear, “She’s gone.” I wasn’t sure what I would feel. I was a bit numb. And while I stood there crying, I was crying tears of sadness as well as tears of joy. It was a bitter-sweet moment. I was sad and I knew I would miss her, but she was so excited to go and be with Jesus that I had to rejoice with her. This was a day of celebration!
I held her hand until the warmth faded to cool. Then I placed my hand under her arm to feel whatever warmth remained, and held it there until she was no longer warm. Her body held its warmth for over an hour, and I stayed with her until all signs of life were completely gone.
It wasn’t until I started writing this blog that I realized how appropriate the song was which I am certain Jesus nudged me to sing. The last verse in particular speaks to the moment my mother went into Glory. I imagine the angels were singing all the verses to which I forgot the words, and as they reached for her crown they sang her into Heaven.
My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine; For Thee all the follies of sin I resign; My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou; If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.
I love Thee because Thou hast first loved me, And purchased my pardon on Calvary’s tree; I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow; If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.
I’ll love Thee in life, I will love Thee in death, And praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath; And say when the death dew lies cold on my brow, If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.
In mansions of glory and endless delight, I’ll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright; I’ll sing with the glittering crown on my brow, If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.
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À la prochaine (Until next time) …