I woke up this morning early once again, thanks to a hard lumpy bed and a rough night’s sleep. My sleep app says my sleep quality was 68%, which is not bad all things considering, but it tells me I need to purchase a mattress pad so I can continue to sleep here. The nurses are very accommodating and pull out my bed every day.
Mom was in a lot of pain yesterday, so they started increasing her dosage of Morphine. This makes her tired so she sleeps a lot. Even in her sleep she moans on occasion. Her back is really bothering her, and I’m sure it’s the disease that is creating the disturbance. I went in the bathroom to take a shower and wept. It’s hard to see her going through this, and every now and then it hits me. I keep telling myself it’s normal (and healthy) to cry from time to time. Then I pick myself back up and keep plugging away.
Her appetite declined significantly during the day yesterday, but she did drink a Boost and had a banana this morning. They keep offering to make her breakfast, but she declines. I asked the nurse whether the medication has decreased her appetite and she said it does make them tired and less interested in food. However she called me into the hallway to let me know their appetite also decreases because the GI system starts shutting down at the end of life. They have less need for food because they are not expending any energy. She said it is best not to pressure her to eat, but just let her eat when she feels hungry.
She provided me with a booklet, which describes signs and symptoms that the end is near, so I will know what to expect. She assured me mom is not there yet, but it is good to know these things in advance. Every now and then it hits me. I teared up in the hallway as well, and of course the nurse was very understanding. She didn’t want mom to worry, so that’s why she called me out into the hall under the pretense of making me some tea. I did get my tea, by the way, and once again I pulled myself together.
It’s a beautiful brisk morning so we opened the patio door and listened to the fountain while we had devotions together. Actually, I read and she fell asleep, but it was comforting to know we can open her Bible and read together. This was one item I retrieved while at her house yesterday, and she was very grateful. We have started the 90 days devotional book I read while I was battling cancer. I blogged about this book, as it provided me with such strength in my own journey. Now I will read it from a caregiver’s perspective. We’ll read one each morning and maybe a second one at night.
Her incontinence has become a real problem, so the nurse asked if she wanted a catheter. They have been so gracious about changing her and never seem to be put out when she is wet, but they felt it would help her comfort level not to have to get up as often. I was so glad to hear her say yes, because now she won’t have to struggle to get to the potty chair, and she won’t suffer any more skin irritation because she didn’t make it. This will keep her more comfortable all the way around I believe. The nurses were surprised when she thanked them for the catheter. Everyone talks about how sweet she is.
My Uncle Phil and Aunt Barbara (mom’s brother and sister-in-law) are driving down from Ohio. They made it to Atlanta last night. They will be here this afternoon, so she is really looking forward to seeing them. I can’t wait is her mantra with a smile. He has back problems and needs surgery, so this is an amazing effort on their part. I’m looking forward to seeing them as well. It’s been a long time, several years, since I’ve seen them.
I have some meetings today that I will attend, and some work to accomplish. All this takes place from her room, or another room in the house. I am so fortunate to have a job that allows me to be here with my mom, and to work from here. I am very thankful and praise God for His abundant blessings.
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À la prochaine (Until next time) …