Tim and Cindy West

A YEAR OF CHANGES

Leaves change, opinions change, bodies change, politicians change, tastes change, health changes, a caterpillar changes into a beautiful butterfly. We are not a stranger to change. This year has been no different, and much change has been infused into the West household…once again. 2016 has been a year of much change! Some good, some not so good.

First Change – Elizabeth transformed from a Senior to a high school graduate. This was a great accomplishment as this meant our last child was out of the home and we were officially empty nesters. We thought this meant we would have some time to relax, but not so…

Next, Elizabeth changed her name to Mrs. Land. We were surprised by their announcement, especially since we only had a couple of weeks to plan the wedding, but since that day we have grown to love our new son-in-law Anthony. With only a little help from the parents they got their very first apartment. We are proud of their commitment to becoming responsible adults.

Our house had been on the market for a while, as we were planning to move back to Conroe. Shortly after the wedding our house sold and we were officially empty nesters and homeless, living out of a storage shed. Yet another change.

Since we were living in hotels while deciding which house to buy for this next phase of life, we took a trip down under. Free tickets and points made the trip very appealing and doable. A working vacation, but also an opportunity to see if there were any sparks that might draw us back to live in Australia. A great time with our friends and beautiful beaches did not convince us God was transferring us overseas, but it was a trip we will not soon forget.

Bryan and Maggie also experienced some positive change. They bought their first home! Alison started in a new preschool and she loves it. It’s just around the corner from their home. She turned one this year and they love their house. It’s in a great location, just a few minutes up the road from where they each work. And not far from Nana and Papa, excuse me, “Yoda.” Bryan is also co-leading the Financial Peace University class at the Ark Church in Conroe. God is good. They are doing so well, and we are very proud of them for this milestone in their family's life. Alison is such a joy, and while she loves playing in boxes, her personality cannot be contained in one.

One month after Bryan and Maggie moved into their home, we found a house, in Conroe Texas. Yeah! Finally no more hotels. God was in the middle of this deal; we are sure of it. We had planned to downsize, but the Lord found a home that has all the bells and whistles we have always wanted in a house…for less money than the smaller homes! We are blessed with four bedrooms, a study, tall ceilings, a media room, and a game room big enough for a pool table. Hey, we had to do something to get the kids to come over! 🙂 We are in a great location, close to shops and even better, just ten minutes for either of our kids. And we are only 15 minutes from the Woodlands. I always thought we should stay near my doctors, and there is more on this later.

Transition has also occurred at work. In October, Cindy went back to full-time teaching, and gave up her faculty chair role at the university. This meant a pay decrease, but the stress and level of work is significantly decreased as well. Also, teaching offers more flexibility during the daytime. It was a good decision. She is teaching research and statistics to Ph.D. Learners who are getting their degree in Counselor Education and Supervision, and Theories of Psychotherapy to the Master’s learners. She loves her new role working directly with the students.

Tim’s job is still the same. He continues to work for the Churches of God as the State Administrator of Texas. Now that Cindy is back to teaching full-time, and all the kids are out of the home, and the dog is living with Bryan’s family, we can travel together basically unencumbered.

Yet another change…our baby had a baby at the end of the year, just in time for her first Christmas. Another surprise for the West household! Perhaps a little sooner than we would have envisioned for a young married couple, but a bundle of joy that we quickly embraced. Now we have two grandchildren! Paige Nicole has been such a blessing, and we are proud of her parents. We were so glad we bought this house, as we can enjoy our family for years to come!

 

Well, that sums up the good news. These are great changes in our family, and we are definitely blessed. Looking back over the year, we know God has been in each and every moment, even when we do not always acknowledge His presence.

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Now for the not so good news. We wouldn't blame you if you stopped reading here, but if you want to know about the next chapter in our lives, another change is coming and it involves our health. Cindy started having some pain in her left side. Not sure if it was her breast, or rib, or where the pain was coming from, she went to the doctor. Breast looked good, so the doctor ordered a chest x-ray. This indicated a mass on the ribs, so a CT scan of the chest came next. Then a biopsy. We wish we could say otherwise, but the mass is 7 cm, wraps around her ribs like fingers, and presses against the lungs (it’s between the ribs and the lungs). It is high grade invasive ductal carcinoma. After meeting with the doctor at MD Anderson, we have come to learn the following. She has stage four metastatic breast cancer. It is the same aggressive type (HER2+) that she had before. It is not in the breast, but it is in several other locations, including the ribs, spine, liver, and skull. Fortunately all of these spots are currently in a good location and she is relatively asymptomatic. It will not cause permanent liver damage at this point, and there is no risk of paralysis.

So what does this mean? Stage four breast cancer is incurable, but it is treatable. It is different from other cancers in that there is a lot of research and new treatments to tackle the problem. Women with metastatic breast cancer are living longer, but we know that eventually her life will be shortened because of this disease. As to how short, no one can predict the future. Perhaps they will discover a cure for stage four before her journey ends. We will know more once the treatment has begun, but the cancer responded very well to the treatment in the past. So there is hope that it will do the same this time. In addition there are new HER2+ treatments since we started the first journey. They will insert a port on Wednesday January 11th, and she will go back on chemotherapy starting Thursday January 12th. She will take three IV drugs every three weeks; two are considered biotherapy to target the HER2+ receptors, and the third is for systemic chemotherapy. In addition the doctor ordered an MRI of the brain due to some spots on the skull. That will be done on Wednesday as well and will determine whether some other treatments are also necessary, e.g. Radiation.

People have been asking, “how are you?” And “how can we help?” In response to how are you, we are doing pretty well overall. The first time Cindy was diagnosed, we went through some real emotional roller coasters. We questioned God. We asked “why?” We were bitter. But then we came through all of that and realized that God is God. When Job asked why, God’s response was not to tell him why, but to give him a lecture on who God is. I was not there when He created the heavens, and I am not God. So we don’t question Him anymore. We just rely on Him to provide us with peace, daily joy, and pray that He will give us a few more years together.

How can we help? People often don’t know what to say. Their responses reflect their own difficulty dealing with the situation. We understand that many people reading this will be in tears, and perhaps even mad at God for letting this happen. The emotional point where we have landed may still be down the road for you. Some people may decide this is too much to handle, so they distance themselves and go on with their lives. We get it. We have done that in the past as well. But if you do want to help, here are some practical things you can do, and say, as we go through this journey together.

• Of course, pray first. We know God could choose to heal, either miraculously or through a new treatment or cure. But Cindy has resolved, “whether I live or die, I will follow Christ.” He has the bigger picture in mind, and who am I to question him.
• Secondly, rather than giving us a “quick cure” for cancer or advice on what to eat (or not to eat), support our decisions to follow our doctor’s advice and treatment plan. We are eating healthier, and exercising daily to help combat this disease. If we want to know, we'll ask. 🙂
• Give us a call and tell us a joke. Laughter is good medicine. Cindy will let you know if it hurts to laugh (smile). We don’t really want to spend a lot of time talking about cancer, but we would like to talk to you and hear how you are doing. What’s going on in your life? What plans do you have for the future? Sure, we can chat over Facebook, and probably will, but an occasional phone call can be a real blessing.
• Send us a card, or a note of encouragement. Something light and funny is always welcome!
• Schedule some time to come and sit with us, have a cup of tea, watch a movie, or play some games. If you live out of state, we have a guest room and you are welcome any time.
• Cindy may need a ride from time to time as we are in this for the long haul.
• The fatigue level fluctuates and energy can plummet, so practical things like running an errand or cleaning the house could be very helpful. An occasional meal is also welcome.
• Another change occurred in 2016, and it is also something you can do to help. Cindy, along with many women who have breast cancer, published a book to help others who are going through the journey, or for those who just want to hear the stories of breast cancer patients. She has a few boxes of books to sell, and needs to recoup her costs. If you know of someone who has breast cancer, consider buying some and giving them away as a gift. If you purchase them from her website, we’ll give you a discount ($15) (www.thebreastcancerjourney.com). If you come buy and pick one up, we’ll give you an even bigger discount ($12).

We recently saw the moving Collateral Beauty. It’s a very thought-provoking movie about time, love, and death. We’ll try not to spoil it for you, but one thing we re-learned is that every day is a gift. Cherish each moment and the beauty that surrounds you; none of us knows how long we have here on Earth.

God Bless you in this New Year!

Tim and Cindy West